And so This is Christmas

In the interest of at least attempting to archive another holiday experience, I present you with some random ramblings.

This has been a weird Christmas season for me, and I’m not exactly sure why. I’ve heard a lot of people saying similar things, and they mention the economy, but that’s not what’s doing it for me. I feel like I’ve been so insanely busy, but when I look back on previous years, I don’t think this one’s any different than usual. One problem is everything seems like way too much work. Another is I’m just not getting into the Christmas spirit the way I normally do. I always go through a roller coaster of feelings ranging from as warm and festive as a dozen drunken elves in a hot tub to as numb as the heart of the Winter Warlock before Kris Kringle teaches him to put one foot in front of the other . But in the past the freeze has thawed in the week before Christmas. This year it hasn’t.

Maybe the biggest problem is that I’ve been so hyper-aware of the length of the season, so reluctant for it to be over, that I started getting post-Christmas letdown around the tenth. That’s so ridiculous and dysfunctional and wrong that I want to bang my head against a wall, but no matter how many times I’ve vowed to live in the moment, I just can’t quiet that nagging little voice that tells me Christmas won’t last forever.

How can it already be Christmas Eve? I haven’t elfed myself. I haven’t been to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra website to watch those cool videos of Christmas Eve in Sarajevo or the kids singing Christmas Canon. I haven’t gone to see that awesome light display on Webster that’s every bit as impressive as the one on Peacock Lane.

“And so this is Christmas, and what have you done?” What have I done? The things I was supposed to? Did I make every minute count? Did I step up, or did I let myself and the people around me down?

I’ll leave you with a funny video I found last year. The sad thing is, one of my characters is exactly the kind of guy who would do something like this. And he’s my favorite character, so what does that say about me?

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7 Responses to And so This is Christmas

  1. rose says:

    I am glad I am not the only one finding Christmas difficult, tho for differing reasons.
    Loved the video!


  2. Elisabeth Miles says:

    LOL! that video was awful!


  3. Roxie says:

    Yeah, I think I let my expectations get unrealistic this year. Incessant merriness and omnipresent goodwill toward all might be more than I can reasonably look forward to.

    The world has turned, the days are getting longer, the sun came up again this morning. Hooray! All things considered, it’s a good holiday!


  4. Like with anything precious, Christmas must be fought for. Its spirit is one of the heart, and these days so many hearts are bruised — so it is no wonder that our Christmas spirit is likewise bruised.

    The face of God came to us as an infant’s. And that is no accident : to catch the spirit of Christmas we must remember what it was like to catch snowflakes on our tongues, to see a mysterious face looking down on us from the full moon, and to believe that miracles can still happen.

    May some of that Christmas magic fill your heart this day and into the New Year, Roland


  5. I almost decided not to do any decorating, lights or tree this year. Too busy, too stressed. But we did, and I am so glad. This year it’s really been all about the music (Annie Lennox and Pink Martini both have new holiday albums out, and I love them both!) It’s been a low-key Christmas, but then again those are the kind I like the best. No expectations, just enjoyment of whatever comes our way.


  6. I felt the same as you for the first half of December, Lisa. It wasn’t until the week before Christmas, when we went out as a family to look at Christmas lights, that I finally felt the joy of the season. I’m trying to hang onto it now, as long as I can.

    I’m hoping you had a joyful Christmas, despite not having elfed yourself or having done any of those other things.

    Oh, and that video was crazy! 🙂


  7. Lisa Nowak says:

    Rose: I’m sorry you had a less than stellar Christmas. Maybe next year will be better.

    Beth: Yeah,I know he isn’t exactly going to win American Idol, but you have to love a guy who isn’t afraid to be silly in public.

    Roxie: I’ve got to admire your attitude.

    Roland: Thanks for stopping by and for the good wishes.

    Chris: Bob brought home the Pink Martini CD when he went out to buy the Glee one (which is also great). I absolutely LOVE the Auld Lang Syne cut. Wow, what a lot of good energy. When I read your post I sent him out to get the Annie Lennox one. Thanks for the recommendation.

    Amy: It seems like there was a lot of un-merriness going around this year. I’m glad you found some Christmas spirit!


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