In the interest of at least attempting to archive another holiday experience, I present you with some random ramblings.
This has been a weird Christmas season for me, and I’m not exactly sure why. I’ve heard a lot of people saying similar things, and they mention the economy, but that’s not what’s doing it for me. I feel like I’ve been so insanely busy, but when I look back on previous years, I don’t think this one’s any different than usual. One problem is everything seems like way too much work. Another is I’m just not getting into the Christmas spirit the way I normally do. I always go through a roller coaster of feelings ranging from as warm and festive as a dozen drunken elves in a hot tub to as numb as the heart of the Winter Warlock before Kris Kringle teaches him to put one foot in front of the other . But in the past the freeze has thawed in the week before Christmas. This year it hasn’t.
Maybe the biggest problem is that I’ve been so hyper-aware of the length of the season, so reluctant for it to be over, that I started getting post-Christmas letdown around the tenth. That’s so ridiculous and dysfunctional and wrong that I want to bang my head against a wall, but no matter how many times I’ve vowed to live in the moment, I just can’t quiet that nagging little voice that tells me Christmas won’t last forever.
How can it already be Christmas Eve? I haven’t elfed myself. I haven’t been to the Trans-Siberian Orchestra website to watch those cool videos of Christmas Eve in Sarajevo or the kids singing Christmas Canon. I haven’t gone to see that awesome light display on Webster that’s every bit as impressive as the one on Peacock Lane.
“And so this is Christmas, and what have you done?” What have I done? The things I was supposed to? Did I make every minute count? Did I step up, or did I let myself and the people around me down?
I’ll leave you with a funny video I found last year. The sad thing is, one of my characters is exactly the kind of guy who would do something like this. And he’s my favorite character, so what does that say about me?